Who is Grand Master Pastor PooBah?

Whimsical High Priest Demi-God Wizard Grand Master Pastor PooBah
( After Countless Complaints I Hereby Offer the Opportunity to Present Myself and Break my Anonymity)

A Few 'Get to know your PooBah' Tid Bits

Well, I'm just your average stereotyped hyper-procrastinatic tireless/wireless high tech/low life bottomless pit of wants & needs kinna Poobah that does not respond well to authoritative direction. Intuitively, I consistently and proactively practice better living through utter denial and a steady diet of peanut butter and xanax sandwiches. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

Most folks see me as a premature post traumatic interface database cyberspace fanatic due to my super cool heat seeking smart ass bomb kinna attitude. Like I give a damn what common folk think. People always asking me "what's your problem GP, ignorance or apathy?" Truth is I really dont know, and I just don't care. Those of you that think you know everything are annoying to those of us that do, but you're still entitled to our opinion.

My global view is that all the world's a stage, but most of us are desperately unrehearsed. There's far to many freaks and not near enough circuses to gainfully employ them. But hell, I'm really just another mouse in the rat race of society always feeling like I'm diagonally parking in a parallel universe to which I do not belong. My therapist's in both dimensions frequently consult with my analyst's as they attempt to ascertain why my IQ results keep coming back "Negative".

Chicks universally dig me cuz I'm charming, handsome, sincere and remarkably humble. Doesn't hurt that I'm worth a couple million, I suppose. (At least that's what I tell them). I'm a strict Vagitarian which presents a problem with those who adhere to the adage "you are what you eat". Alas, I struggle through it and chicks bow before me after I dine so it's all good. I've been called worse.

I am proud to be a self made man. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left, so that's cool. Realizing that millions on welfare depend on me, I work hard as a dihydrogen monoxide engineering technician with a leading fire hydrant manufacturing company. The benefits are groovy but you can't ever park anywhere around the damn place.

My closer friends consider me pseudo psychotic, except for my absolute closest friends deep inside the earth, so I'm constantly pleading contemporary insanity. They're all just jealous because the voices only talk to me igniting my fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

Basic Fleeting Vocational Abilities

Ok, so I'm not really a DHMO tech. When I am not jamming, making feature motion pictures, or fulfilling International modeling contracts, I am a test pilot for classified aircraft. (Stemming from my stint with the CIA, DIA and NSA).

When not perfecting neurosurgery techniques, or calculating my latest multi-dimensional electro-magnetic reverse gravitational propulsion theories, I'm a pro surfer, mountain climber, sky diver, kung-fu expert, water/snow ski/boarder and volunteer deep sea fire fighter.

Hobbies and Interests

I enjoy the usual typical kinna junk such as:

  • Skinny Skiing and Ménage à Trois Snow Boarding
  • Running with the Bulls while peeking on Mushrooms
  • Dropping Ecstasy and Dancing Argentine Tango at a Rave
  • Sitting in a Corner Tearing Paper Napkins into Little Strips Pondering the Molecular Structure
  • Sipping Frothy Tuna Martini's between Big Wave Surfing Sets
  • Complex Rough Sex cuz I can't get Enuff Tuff Love
  • Ritualistic pagan pure breed puppy breeder sacrafices
  • Wondering why I Wonder then Wonder why I even Wondered
  • Doing Tequlia shots while Covered in Baby Oil Playing Naked Twister
In my spare time, I solve all the mysteries of Mankind with hopes of evolving the species. I am happy to report there seems to be signs of intelligent life.



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